Giving a eulogy in front of a big crowd can be a daunting task especially when you are not used to public speaking. But if you are the type of person who is enthusiastic about giving eulogies that you want it to be remembered, here are the few tips and aadvice that you can follow in order to write funeral eulogies that will truly capture the heart of your audience.
- Before writing your eulogy, decide first on the tone that you are going to use. A good eulogy needs to be appropriate. To determine the tone you are going to use for your eulogy, you have to know how the deceased passed away. If you are giving a eulogy for a grandparent who lived happily for more than 75 years, then you can add humor on your tone. On the other hand, if you are giving a eulogy for a teenager who passed away due to an accident, then you could use a more serious tone.
- Know your audience. In writing your eulogy, you need to consider the deceased’s family as well as his loved ones. Be honest but do not dwell too much on the negative side. But if the deceased was really difficult to handle, make sure to use gentle words and do not be offensive. This will only add insult to the injury that the family will feel. Strike the balance of what to say and what not to say. When you are in doubt, have someone look at your eulogy and be open for any suggestions.
- Touch on a few key points about the deceased. It doesn’t necessarily have to be an obituary where you state all the basic information about the deceased. State only the necessary information such as what was he like when he was still living, his achievements in his career, hobbies, and interests. In this way, you are giving the family of the deceased some information that they do not personally know.
- Be concise and organize your thoughts. Before you start writing your eulogy, outline first the important things. Write the eulogy in such a way that it has an introduction, body, and an end. Again, state only the necessary things. Do not take too much time in your eulogy. According to some research, the average eulogy should take up only for 3-5 minutes long. Don’t make it longer than that as it will only bore your audience. A reasonable length of a eulogy should be a page or two. As long as you are able to point out the necessary things, then your eulogy is enough. What you should always keep in mind is that the eulogy is just a part of the occasion. So make sure you keep it short and simple.
- Remember all the happy memories of the deceased. Your eulogy is the time to reminisce all the happy stories about the deceased and to actually tell about these stories. Recall the fondest memories that you had with the deceased, the experiences you shared together, Try not to include the negative stories as this will only hurt the family. If you’re quite not sure about those happy memories, try to ask for help from your closest friends or even the family about it.
- Have someone read your eulogy for you. Even if you are already good at writing speeches, it is still a good idea to have someone read it out for you in order to point out your mistakes if there are any. They can still add to the stories that you have prepared in case you forgot to include it in your written eulogy.
- Practice reading your speech aloud. There’s a big difference when you write something and reading it aloud. When you are not comfortable with public speaking, it is important that you practice first to avoid mistakes especially when you are at the moment of giving the speech. There are some people who are very particular with the pronunciation of words. In order to avoid potential embarrassment, practice your speech first or you can have someone listen for you.
- Speak slowly when you are giving the eulogy. Although giving a eulogy is something that makes a person very emotional especially when you are recalling all the good memories that you shared with the deceased, but always keep in mind to speak slowly and don’t rush in finishing it. This will only eliminate the intimacy of the occasion. It is recommended that you start with the lighter stuff first before going to the big key points of your speech. While giving your eulogy, make sure to show how you really feel and make it more lively as possible.
- Make eye contact with your audience. Giving eulogy is basically giving a public speech. So treat it as if you are speaking in front of a large crowd even if there are only 20 people in the room. Avoid looking at the copy of your eulogy all the time. Make sure you build a rapport with your audience. If it’s too emotional for you, you can just pause and continue your speech again.
- End your speech with a positive outlook. Even if funerals are the time to be emotional, you don’t need to have a eulogy that sounds so negative. Always end it with a positive outlook in life that even if someone has already left the world, it’s not yet the end. Life will always continue.
There are really no right or wrong in writing and giving eulogies. What is important is that you have conveyed the condolence message that you want to say and you have paid a tribute to the deceased person aside from giving funeral flowers.